5 Things ALU Students Do Instead of Studying

Writer’s Note: This is a fictional article.

I know it’s spring break, and mid-terms are a thing of the past, but finals are fast approaching. Not to mention the many tests before finals are just around the corner.

It is not rocket science that college students procrastinate, but how they do it, well, that is up for speculation. With that being said, here is a list of my best guesses for what college students at Audre Lorde University do while procrastinating to study.

Try to rationalize why they don’t need to study until the last minute.

One of the many things ALU college students do while not studying for a test is attempt to convince themselves that they are not studying for a good reason. This can be accomplished by dismissing the difficulty level of the test, overestimating their professor’s ability to give students a pass, or making themselves out to be smarter than they really are.

Party for the extroverts and Netflix/Tidal for the introverts.

A good reason for ALU students not to study for an important upcoming test is an equally important upcoming party at Ida B. Sorority House. When your choices are free cannabis or a successful college career, it’s hard to see why free cannabis will not win out. For the introverts, binge-watching Grey’s Anatomy on Netflix or listening to A Seat At The Table on Tidal definitely supersedes reading three hundred pages of mostly incoherent intellectual gibberish.

Go to a show in Detroit.

This is specific for all students living in Los Angela Davis, not just on the ALU campus. Some Los Angela Davis students would prefer a 44 minute commute to a femcee hip-hop show in Detroit than pulling an all-nighter study session with coffee for company. Sorry Starbucks!

Work on another class’s project or assignment at the last minute.

When is the best time to finish up an assignment that you’ve had two weeks to complete? The night before the test of another class. It’s very simple, you start reading for a test, then you get lost researching random things, then you remember you have an assignment due soon, then you decide to finish it up really quick and get back to studying.

Play games at The Mayan Angelou Lounge.

During last year’s finals, there were way too many people at The Mayan Angelou Lounge. There were so many people, that I was put on the wait-list to play a video game. Apparently, going to The Mayan Angelou Lounge instead of studying is a cherished ALU student tradition.

And now you know the 5 things ALU students do instead of studying.

Frank Ocean Opens up to QLR.FM About Album Delay in New Exclusive Interview.

Writer’s Note: This is a fictional article.

It’s no secret that Frank Ocean is not the same shy, reserved, singer from Odd Future’s 2011 era. He has since secured a name for himself in the R&B universe and has recreated his public image to reflect his reality. As a result of Mr. Ocean’s fame, when I first reached out, I was expecting no response.

Much to my surprise, he responded.

I learned something unbelievable about Mr. Ocean at that moment–he still checks his emails. He is still “one of us.”

We skipped past the chit chat and unto what was on everyone’s mind. 

Q: Why did you delay your album?

A: Why did I delay the album? Well because The Internet released their album “Ego Death” which is one of the most iconic R&B albums of our age. I needed time to collect myself.

Q: What? You’re a fan of The Internet?

A: Who Isn’t?

Q: Well if you’re such a fan, why aren’t you on the album?

A: Actually, Syd told me not to say this publicly till we have everything completed, but I’ll pull an Azealia Banks and spill the beans. The Internet and I are working on Ego Death 2 which is basically me singing all the songs on Ego Death with The Internet.

Q: Wow, that sounds amazing.

A: Yes, is this off the record?


Q: Would you describe yourself as a procrastinator?

A: No, but a perfectionist, maybe. And maybe perfectionism intersects with procrastination. Who knows?

Q: Do you have any word of advice for up and coming artists who don’t put music out regularly?

A: There is never a wrong or right time to release music. Do it when you are ready, do it on your own terms. It might be a hit, it might be a miss, but when you look back you want to be sure you released a track because you wanted to and you felt that you had put out your best work.

Q: When is your album coming out?


Q: Well thank you for speaking with me today Mr. Ocean

A: No thank you for reaching out. If you are reading at home, please go check out The Internet’s “Ego Death” while you wait. It’s a great album, definitely deserving of a Grammy or a purchase. Peace.

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